MY TOP TIPS
FOR GLASTONBURY 2019
YES! That midsummer night’s dream known as Glastonbury Festival is almost upon us! Being 8 years deep in the Worthy Farm scene, I think I’ve mastered the art of the WHAT; what to pack, what to eat and what to do. Don’t worry hunniz, you're in safe hands - from the heatwave of 2010 (trust me this ginger may as well have been in Nevada) to the absolute scenes of the 2015 mud-bath. For this reason, I thought I would put together a lil list of tips to prepare you lot for the crazy, unforgettable, left field and downright bizarre experience you are about to lose yourself in! Seriously, Count Dracula fed me a slice of watermelon in the dance once - in this utopia the unexpected is inevitable.
So, if you have stuck with me, here are my top tips to ensure a bloody good TIME!
What to pack
Ok, the thing is the Beeb’s coverage doesn't do the grand scale of Glasto any justice - it looks like all there is to offer, is a coupla big stages. I got it all wrong! The festival has an 8 mile perimeter. Think along the lines of walking from Warren Street Station to Covent Garden - Long. Trust me you do not want to be hurling that GG carry on, crammed to the brim with 3 insta-worthy outfit changes a day. You will be Romeo done before it’s even begun!
A waterproof jacket. It goes without saying really, we may be predicted an absolute scorcher of 30°C heat, but in true Glastonbury fashion, the weather is unpredictable. Your bag needs to be ready, for whatever the weather is saying. You don’t wanna be that dry mate that summons everyone back to camp, because you’ve forgotten your Pac a Mac. Prevent the FUMES right there.
Portable charger. Even you and your bezzie fezzy mate will wanna swan off to something different at some point, so be prepared for when you wanna link up later for the get down. After all, who wants to lose their mates at a festival? That’ll be dead!
*Cute Tip - Don’t fret, I realise it’s way too last minute to be running around Westfield looking for a charger. EE have got yo back. Find out more about their Juice Tube Power Bar and free Recharge Tent here.
Shoes, that are gonna fail you. Funny story, big up Joe who thought it would be a good idea to wear his Clarks OG’s to the fezzy, only to end up barefoot come 5pm. You don’t wanna be that guy! Hunter wellies and a pair of Docs have been my fezzy go to for years - practical but you'll still be looking buff.
Glass bottles, you don’t wanna arrive at the Glasto gates buzzin with your two litres of Courvoisier Cognac, only to be wounded when they are poured away by security. By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail and all that jazz. Buy some plastic bottles of pop and fill them up with your fine liquor of choice. Don’t overload with mixers, this is a massive no no and only adds to unnecessary weight - #Noworries Co-op have got it sussed. Glastonbury announced an exclusive partnership with them involving a pop-up festival store, and yes they will be selling meal deals.
Chippy tea 2015
Do venture to the Glastonbury sign
I know I keep chirping on about how HUGE the festival is. But MY GOD if it is your first time, you need to get yourself up to the Glastonbury sign. Getting all sentimental now, but back in the day in 2009 my Dad took me there. It is a truly overwhelming experience, that puts into perspective just how big Glasto is. I recommend going on the first night, to soak up those festival feels and blow ya mind!
View from the top
Be Safe & Look after each other
It’s common knowledge that festivals are a place of losing all inhibitions, forming new friendships and being where the social norm is left at the gates. However, be vigilant, extra safe and look after one another. Festivals can be overwhelming at times, and we’ve all been known to overdo it.
Remain super flyyy by:
Keeping yourself hydrated
So you’ve made those exotic homemade cocktails to drink ’til sunrise *sick* but don't forget this has lethal consequences. Make sure you bring a reusable bottle, to take to any of the WaterAid kiosks dotted around the site. You can stop by for as many refills of fresh, clean water as you like for FREE. Find out more of what WaterAid are up to here.
Be substance aware
In no way am I an advocate for partaking in illegal activities, but ignorance isn’t bliss in this instance. The most important thing is to be safe.
#1 Pace yourself, take half or have a small dab and be patient. Not doing anything? Don’t keep on shoveling it in. It might hit you at all at once. Then you’re in real trouble. Relax, take it easy and have a good time!
#2 Don’t buy drugs from a fezzy weirdo. One, who knows what’s in there and two, it will most probably be a waste of your hard earned cash.
#3 Don’t get frustrated at your mate if they are having a bad time on drugs. Help them - reassure them that this feeling will pass, keep them hydrated and take them to one of the many welfare tents if you need further assistance. The medical staff aren’t there to judge or report you to the 5-0, they just want to help you feel alright again. Don’t worry, go in and have a chinwag.
Don’t be put off by the TREK to the night-time areas
After you have been partying, drinking and most probably falling over all day, the last thing you wanna do is trek a couple of miles with your lead for legs, right? I’m NGL these places are hella confusing to get to, especially when you’re caned, but you’ve got this. This is my favourite part of the fezzy; home to activism, art, technology and all sorts of freaky goings-on. I can’t even put into words how big a deal Block 9, The Unfairground, The Common and Shangri-La are. You may find yourself entering a club through a phone box, only gaining entry to a club on presentation of a fake tattoo, or slap bang in the middle of a decontamination chamber. YES! This is where all things weird and wonderful can be found and of course, I love it! I’ll mostly be at Block 9, losing myself in the brand new experience that is IICON - the broken beats of Ilian Tape, acid overload from Larry Heard and an immersive 3D sound arena, right up my street.
Shangri La 2016
As Glasto are putting it this year ‘DON’T BE A DICK!’
Don’t be a dick to the staff, fellow fezzy goers and don’t be a dick by not packing all your stuff up when it’s time to go home. There are 15,000 beautifully painted bins on site, be sure to use them, recycling any bottles or food containers you have. People put in a graft all year round to make this slice of paradise on earth happen, so make sure you show some
R E S P E C T. Find out more on the don't be a dick, leave no trace initiative here.
Lastly, have an absolute belterl!!! Show some love to your fezzy crew and laugh with them until Eavis’ cows come home.
Who I’m gassed about @Glasto 2019;
Slowthai, Wu-tang Clan, Zenker Brothers, Fontaines DC, Lauryn Hill, Stormzy, Bugzy Malone, Children of Zeus, The Streets, IAMDDB, Octavian, The Comet is Coming, Dave, Loyle Carner, Larry Heard, Kasra B2B Randall, The Good, the Bad & the Queen, Fat White Family, Dub Pistols, Bushwacka, Ocean Wisdom, Sports Banger Mega Rave, DJ Storm, Hodge, Stenny, Joker x Sir Spyro, Josh Wink, DJ Die, Sicaria Sound, Kojey Radical.